Remus is gay
by SwPsN
Summary: Remus is gay, and in love with his best friend Sirius Black. He is anxious that his friends won't accept him, even though Sirius came out as bi several years ago. Fluff and some angst. Nothing figurative. Just Remus being Remus.


Author's note:

This is the first fanfic I've ever written, and it was some time ago, so I'm really sorry if something is incorrect. I have never published my fanfics before either, so I hope the rating is good, and everything works fine!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story, everything belongs to dear J.K.

* * *

Remus is gay. He knows his friends will accept it, they did when Sirius came out as queer anyways. But Remus is still hesitant. What if they don't accept him? What if they would think of him as weird, just because he don't like girls, like the other boys.

This is of course just silly thoughts, he knows that they would accept him. Sirius isn't straight, so there is no possibility of him being homophobic. As for James and Peter, Remus isn't quite as sure. Of course both accepted Sirius, but that was because Sirius is James's best friend, and Peter does anything James does.

Remus sighs. He wants to come out. He don't like keeping secrets to his friends, and he had been wrong about his "furry little problem". What if he is wrong now too, that he doesn't have to worry?

The Marauders sit in their dormitory. James talks about Lily, as he always do, and the other boys listen.

"Have you seen her eyes? They are so deep, I love that green colour. It's my favourite!" he rambles.

Sirius and Remus turns up their eyes at each other. This is everything James talks about. Lily here and Lily there. They have been holding out for five years. It was in their second year that James had fallen for Lily.

James looks at the other boys. "Don't you think she will give in soon? I mean, who doesn't want me?" he says, looking mouldy.

In fact, it is like no one wants James. He has never had a girlfriend, and no one has asked him out either. But of course, as best friends, none of the three boys say anything about that.

"Of course she will, Prongs! I have seen her looking at you. Just wait and she will fly into your arms!" Sirius says and places his arm around James' shoulders, who looks remarkably happier already.

Remus can't help but look at him. Sirius with his long, black curls, often in a bun. His silver eyes, and pale skin. His long legs and perfect, fit body. Remus shudders, not because of the non-existing cold.

"Pete, do you have some bird in your mind? I've seen you checking some Hufflepuff girl out." Sirius says, winking at Peter.

"Oh, well… Yeah. I kind of like someone." he answers.

"Kind of?" James interrupts. "You can't keep your eyes off her for even a minute! You're bloody in love, mate!"

Peter flushes and looks down at his feet. "No I'm not…" he mumbles.

"And you, Pads? Do you like someone?" James asks.

Sirius shoot him an annoying glance. His cheeks turns a slight tint of pink.

"Oh, you like someone!" James says, triumphant. "I knew it! Who is it? A girl or a boy?"

"Umm… It doesn't really matter…" he mumbles, looking down and tugs absent-minded at his hair.

James looks at him, eyebrows raised. "Oh come on! You know you can tell us everything!"

Sirius sighs, give James an irritated look, and answers. "Yes, I like someone. A boy. Happy?"

James smirks. "Not quite… What year is he in? 'Cause he is at Hogwarts, right?"

Sirius scowls at James. "Yes, he's in our year. Not telling you anymore, okay?"

"Alright then! 'Gonna hold my eyes open for this guy." James grins and pushes Sirius shoulder. He just shoots James an annoyed look and James stops.

James then turns around. His evil grin upon his face again. He turns his gaze to Remus, who tenses a little. Looks nervous and starts to pluck with his things.

"Don't look so nervous, Remmie. There's no need to," James grins. "May there be someone you like, huh?"

Remus furiously flushes a deep red.

"Aha! Busted!" James says, pointing a finger at Remus.

Both Peter and Sirius turns to Remus, shocked.

" _You_ like someone? Remus John Lupin _likes_ someone?" Peter asks, his mouth wide open.

Remus mumbles a bit, doesn't know what to say. Sirius just stares at him. That only makes the situation worse. Remus stands up to leave, but James tugs at his arm before he has a chance to.

"You're not going anywhere! We're going to find out who this lucky person is!" he says.

Remus sits down on his bed again, ready to answer all those inconvenient questions. He looks down at the floor, can't bear meet his friends' eyes. What if he accidentally tells them he is gay, or worse, declares his love to Sirius. He begins to panic slightly, looking everywhere except on Sirius. Of course no one notices.

"So." James says. "Who is this lucky girl?"

Remus flushes even more, if possible. "Thereisnogirl."

"What?" Peter asks. "Didn't quite hear you."

Remus takes a deep breath, looking at the floor.

"There is no girl," he says and stands up, walking fast towards the door. His head turned down.

He doesn't see everyones' stares. And he certainly doesn't see the relieved look on Sirius face.

James is the first one to recover from the shock. He smoothly slides in between Remus and the door, before the latter can reach the handle.

"What are you doing?!" Remus asks angrily, not trying to get James out of the way.

"Why didn't you tell us?! Sirius told us five _years_ ago, Moony. _Five years_." James says accusatorially. "You've got no reason to hide something like that!"

James's voice breaks, sounds hurt. Remus slowly meets James's eyes and sees the hurt in them.

Remus breaks. He falls down to the floor, sobbing. James just stand there, shocked about this being such a big deal.

Sirius runs forwards and kneels beside Remus, letting his arms around him, holding him in a tight hug.

"It's okay, Remmie. We don't judge you. You know that, don't you?" he whispers softly.

Peter had slowly made his way to stand beside James. His eyes still wide from surprise.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I shouldn't have pushed you like that. I didn't think it was such a big deal. Not after Sirius came out and everything…" James says carefully.

He sounds so regretful that Remus has to meet his eyes, smiling slightly.

"It's okay, James. Really. I'm just being silly…" he mumbled between his sobs.

Sirius loosens his grip around Remus, only slightly, so he can look at the boy.

"We love you, Remmie. No matter what."

Remus starts to cry again.

Later that Saturday, in their dormitory, when Remus has calmed down a little, Sirius casually asks Remus,

"So, you're gay?"

Remus sniffs. "Yeah."

"For how long have you known?" Sirius asks.

"For forever? I don't know! I've just never really liked girls in that way. So I guess I always knew."

"So, you don't like birds at all?"

"No, I told you?" Remus raises an eyebrow at Sirius.

"I was just checking…"

Remus feels a great relief now he had said it. For so long he had had that great clump in his stomach, been to afraid to tell them. But he should have known better, of course he should. They really are his best friends and would never leave him. Sometimes he was just too silly.

It has now gone two weeks since Remus told his secret. He had felt a big relief. His absolute biggest secret is now told, and he is so happy. They haven't at all reacted very much. It is just a shock that he hasn't told them, and that he is gay, 'cause they had no idea.

But everything is back to normal, well, nothing had changed from the beginning.

The Marauders are back, pranking and causing chaos. It is the four of them against everyone else, and they are clearly winning since no one tries to stop them.

Remus and Sirius has begun to hang out alone together more and more, not much to James liking.

"Hey! We're your friends too, you know!"

But Remus quite enjoys Sirius company. Not only because he is to hang out with his crush, but Sirius is very funny on his own.

"Remus, you know that guy you like? Is he in our year?" Sirius says, on one of their many strolls through the castle.

Remus turns his head to Sirius, looking confused. That wasn't at all what they had been talking about. They had been talking about potions, and how terrible Remus is at it. He is really pants at potions.

Sirius sudden change of subject startles Remus. But he knows there isn't any need to.

"Yeah, he's in our year," Remus answers curtly.

"You don't have to tell me who it is, but what does he look like?" Sirius wonders.

"Well…" Remus begins, feeling his cheeks start to burn. "He's shorter than me, by a few inches."

Sirius looks at him, no, Sirius _watches_ him. Sirius watches him hungrily. And of course Remus flushes even more.

"And, he's cool. And he's kind of pale, has silver eyes. And black hair." Remus doesn't dare to tell Sirius more now. This is so close to a declaration, which Remus very much wants to avoid.

"What does the boy you like look like?" Remus asks, only to get focus off of himself.

"Well… He's taller than me, first of all. And he's got amber eyes, and brown hair. He's really cute sometimes. And sometimes, when he least suspects it, he can look really sexy. Like, _oh my gosh he's so sexy._ " Sirius says.

Remus looks at him. Taking in whole Sirius face, his deep and silver eyes, his high cheekbones and sharp jaw, his long, dark eyelashes and black eyebrows.

Sirius takes in Remus too. Remus amber eyes with golden sparkles in, his dark, brown eyebrows and dark eyelashes. Remus' thin face with sharp cheekbones and jawline. Remus kind eyes with something mischievous in them.

Sirius closes in on Remus. He tenses his jaw and stands now so close their noses are almost touching. Remus is not backing away, as he normally would if someone did this. Instead he tilts his head so their foreheads meet. He smiles. He smiles the smallest but brightest smile in weeks. Sirius almost laughs, he places his hand behind Remus's neck and the other in his hair. Remus places his arms around Sirius's waist and walks a little closer.

They have never been standing this close before. Looking deep into the others' eyes, foreheads touching, bodies touching. If any of them just tilted their head a little, their lips would meet.

Sirius does it. He reaches out and kisses Remus on the lips, softly, quick. Remus closes his eyes, and they kiss again, deeper. Remus moans. Sirius bites at Remus lower lip and then kisses the corner of Remus' mouth. His kisses walks down his neck and along his collarbone. Remus tilts his head back and sighs. Oh, he's been dreaming about this for so long!

Sirius lips touching every inch of bare skin. Remus smiling, happier than ever. Sirius lips wanders back to Remus' and they kiss like never before. The kiss is deep and intense.

Remus hands around Sirius's neck, one in his long, soft hair.

Sirius hands on Remus's arse. Both of them groans in the others mouth.

They don't know for how long they've been standing like that when someone picks on their shoulders.

"Um… Remus? Sirius? Maybe you should… get a room?"

They heard James's voice behind them.

"Alright, Jamsie. Good idea. We'll take ours. Don't come in for… awhile." Sirius mumbles against Remus' lips.

They quickly make their way back to their dormitory, continuing their act in Remus's bed.

When they wake up beside each other the next day and withdraw the curtains they meet a smug grin in James Potter's face.

"Good morning."


End file.
